1 Peter 1:7
7 that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold that perisheth though it is proved by fire, may be found unto praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ:
I want to, first of all, say thank you to my Provider above. Without my spiritual, personal relationship with the Most High, my life would be entirely out of control.
I was just reflecting on my life choices over the last ten months. I can say I have ADJUSTED to several things—namely, these:
BUDGET: most importantly, this concerns what it means to live within MY means. Let’s just say I DID NOT dot my i’s and cross my t’s before I decided to RETIRE. For the first six months, I was agitated and regretted that decision. But I ADJUSTED!
I realize, too, that JOB Hunting today is different. Everything is on the internet. YES; I have been looking for PART–TIME work to supplement my income. I had NO Luck. But I ADJUSTED!
March 23, 2017, was the day I retired. It was not just because of my choice to be with my Dad in his transition. As I look back, I must say that I no longer desired to travel up and down the Cajon Pass 68 miles twice a day to and from work. Having to leave home at 5:45 a.m. just to get to work at 8:00 a.m. was a struggle, and worrying in the evening what time I would get home, praying there was no accident on the freeway, I will say that the commute bugged me throughout the day. My performance at work was also suffering. I lacked the desire to adjust to the department changes because I had anxiety attacks for a significant portion of the day.
Reality set in that change needed to occur for my peace of mind, so retirement was my choice.
Insecurity & Comparison: I think I have always struggled with insecurity since I always felt like I had to conform to society’s vision. Since being home and blogging my life story, I have accepted that “I AM ME” and I am comfortable in my skin. I have nothing to prove to no one but myself. I have always known that life is what I make of it.
I know what my vision/goal is and since being home, I can achieve it: blogging and being a “self–taught braid wig–maker.” I am working on my skills. I chose to be a wig-maker because braids were my signature hairstyle growing up and in junior high school, I also braided family members’ and friends’ hair. The reason I chose being a wig-maker vs. braiding clients hair is that with the wig-making I have the option to work at my own pace. I don’t have to stand for hours installing braids to a client’s hair.
I would be lying if I said every day has been great. The challenges have been many. I am working too on overcoming this anxiety for driving. I have been chauffeured around the city by my husband, daughter, and grandson. I have not traveled down the Cajon Pass either because the anxiety has been horrible. This problem has hindered my promise to be assistant to my mom, and I am feeling very guilty about it.
I Pray for me to overcome this anxiety.
Heavenly Father, thank You for being with me in all my trials. I pray that I may come forth as gold, that has been tried in the fire – to Your praise and glory, in Jesus name I pray, AMEN.